Category Archives: humor

Walgreens doesn’t do pap smears but maybe they should

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via Gawker, who links to  Stephen Colbert’s hilarious send up of Fox and Friend’s mansplanation about we don’t need Planned Parenthood:

That’s right, because the ladies can get their pap smears, breast exam, and other lady-business care at Walgreens! Colbert advises, “I’m pretty sure they’re between the Swiffer refills and the cat food.  Ladies, just look for the stirrups!”

But seriously, folks, why not let Walgreens (and CVS and other retail drugstores) expand their “minute clinics” and such to include, at the very least, pelvic exams and blood pressure screenings?  That way, women don’t have to make a doctor’s appointment to get a prescription for oral contraceptives.  [hmm, perhaps I should bring this up with the OCs OTCs Working Group] One stop shopping, right? After all, Kmart offers aneurysm screenings, so why not?

Update 4/15/2011: Ms. Magazine blog reports that tomorrow, “women will be taking Doocy and Kilmeade’s advice, and visiting Walgreens in search of pap smears. Planned informally by a group of friends, the Flash Mob event hopes to ‘raise awareness about the absurd and dangerous attempts to deny access to critical health services to women across the country,’ says organizer Courtney Berner. The event is not, Berner emphasizes, an attack on Walgreens or its employees, and she urges participants to “be respectful of all Walgreens employees.” Of course, Flash Mobbers should also understand that the answer to their pap-smear requests will probably be “no.” Indeed, the Walgreens health-care clinics’ spokeswoman, Lauren Nestler, told Media Matters earlier this week that “Neither Walgreens, nor its in-store health-care clinics, Take Care Clinics, offer pap smears or breast exams.” However if Congress plans to defund Planned Parenthood, Fox & Friends says Walgreens is our best bet.”

Ms. Magazine says that “to participate in the Saturday event, find a Walgreens near you and show up on Saturday at noon with a video camera. Ask politely for your pap smear and see/film what happens.Videos can be submitted to the YouTube channel WalgreensPapSmear or emailed to walgreenspapsmear@gmail.com. Tweet your mission using the hashtag #papsmearplease. If Fox & Friends is right, you should be set up in stirrups in no time.”

Top Ten Trivia Tips About Knitting Clio

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Ten Top Trivia Tips about Knitting Clio!

  1. The international dialling code for Knitting Clio is 672.
  2. Bananas don’t grow on trees – they grow on Knitting Clio.
  3. Knitting Clio has four noses!
  4. The porpoise is second to Knitting Clio as the most intelligent animal on the planet.
  5. Knitting Clio can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid.
  6. Only twelve people have ever set foot on Knitting Clio.
  7. The original nineteenth-century Coca-Cola formula contained Knitting Clio.
  8. Louisa May Alcott, author of ‘Little Knitting Clio’, hated Knitting Clio and only wrote the book at her publisher’s request!
  9. Knitting Clio is the world’s tallest woman.
  10. Knitting Clio is the world’s largest rodent.

Via Historiann.  Go here if you want to find out more about yourself and/or other bloggers.

Thanks.  This was fun.  Feel free to make up more.

Black History Month (satire)

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Edge of the American West referred me to  postbourgie’s satirical series for Black History Month, “Know Your History.”

Here is the entry for the sole female in the group, Whoopi Goldberg:

whoopi_goldberg_3

“Born Caryn Elaine Johnson in 1955, Whoopi Goldberg rose to fame in the acting world, becoming the second black woman to win an Academy Award for her role in the 1975 blaxploitation film, Blackface Jones and the Temple of Jive. After beating pinkytoe cancer in 1963, Goldberg established Brows(e) for a Cure, an organization that encourages people to donate their eyebrows to make wigs for others battling the disease. She continues to donate to this day.”

Any women’s historians out there want to join me in coming up with similar entries for WHM? Historiann, are you game?  Or has this been done already and I missed it?

Committee on the Concerns of Men, or, Stuff Guys like to Talk about

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I’ve decided to make a joke out of the whole exchange with our university troll, and take up his suggestion about starting a Committee on the Concerns of Men. I asked a non-random, non-representative sample of my male colleagues with a sense of humor to reply to the question, if you were on a CCM, what would you talk about? The answers so far:

From 40-something, white male teaching faculty member:

“Serious Offerings: Prostate Cancer, Choice Time: Balancing the Possible Return of Selective Service with Your Son’s Need to Get Federal Financial Aid, Dealing with a Two-Professionals Family Relationships, Balancing Work and Family, How to Get Recognized Family Leave with a New Born or Adopted Child
Goofy Offerings: Power Tools, Are you a Hop Head, Books that Make Light of Changing Diapers, Hottest Album Covers EVER!, Am I a wuss for putting peroxide on this? Is Jr. finally gonna start winning races now that he is with Childress and off DEI? What’s your favoraite soap [Y&R, baby!]? How did Tom help you remodel your house this week? When to ditch the shirt when you swim. Throwdown: My family’s emergency plan for major catastrophies is a lot more logistically feasible than your family’s emergency plan for major catastrophies.


What can I say? I did a sabbatical at GQ! “

From 40-something hispanic male, administrative faculty member:

“I’d want to discuss how I want to be treated special… Just like everyone else! <grin> Or maybe, even though I am not a white male, how I can stop being treated like one.

The environment and our future there, but without concern for…

Cars, hot rods, go fast things…. definitely on the list.

Music, yup. Music.

Campus Politics… long live the good ol’ boys network, even though it now admits girls.

Farting and bathroom humor. Burps n such.

Beer. Maybe beer should come before farting. More fun that way. Think about how beer has shaped the world!

NOTE: no sports mentioned until now. Sorry guys, I’ve just never fit that mold.”

From another 40-something white male teaching faculty member:

“I’d want to talk about tap dancing, but, I know, [hispanic male in previous quoted section], I know, that could be a threaded forum for all the other 40-something-male-tappers at CCSU.”

Keep them coming, Gentlemen!